my issue with whales

i was talking to an imaginary person inside my head today. this person was a huge whale fanatic.

me: "I could never be fanatic for whales."

her: "Why not?"

me: "Because they live in the ocean."

her: "So!"

me: "DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW SCARY THE OCEAN IS?"

it's an entirely logical argument. loads of people think sea creatures such as dolphins, whales, and starfish are cute, but i guarantee you that if you spent a single day with any of these specimens in their natural habitat, you would be grossed out of your gourd.

and besides that, you would drown...

so just get the f*** over whales.